You're concerned. Here's exactly what to do.

Last updated August 2026 · Sources named on this page and checked against the original publications · How this site works

Worry without a plan is exhausting. This is the plan. Five steps, in order, with the exact words to use — and the single most important rule: support starts now, not after a diagnosis.

1. Document what you're seeing

   For one to two weeks, jot down concrete observations: "Called his name 5 times from behind, no response, but turned instantly at the crinkle of the snack bag" beats "he ignores me." Note what your child does do, too. Short phone videos of typical play and communication moments are enormously useful to clinicians. Use the signs-by-age checklist as your framework.

2. Book a doctor's visit — and say the word "autism"

   Make a dedicated appointment (not a squeezed-in question at a sick visit). Be direct: "I'm concerned about autism. I'd like a formal developmental screening and, depending on the result, a referral for a full evaluation." Bring your notes and videos.

   If you hear "let's wait and see," "boys talk late," or "he makes eye contact, so it's not autism" — know that none of these is consistent with current pediatric guidance. You may politely insist: "I understand it may turn out to be nothing, but guidance says persistent parental concern warrants evaluation. I'd like the referral." You are also always free to seek a second opinion.

3. Start early intervention immediately — no diagnosis needed

   This is the step most families learn about too late. In the United States:

   • Under age 3: every state runs a free Early Intervention program (IDEA Part C). You can refer your own child — no doctor's order, no diagnosis required. The program must evaluate your child (free) and, if eligible, provide services like speech and developmental therapy, often in your home. Search "[your state] early intervention Part C referral" or find your state's contact via the CDC's resources.
   • Age 3 and up: your local public school district is required to evaluate (free) and provide preschool special-education services (IDEA Part B) if eligible — even before kindergarten, and even if your child attends private daycare. Call the district and ask for a "Child Find evaluation," and follow up in writing.

   Outside the U.S., most countries have an equivalent early-support pathway via public health or education systems — ask your child's doctor or health visitor what the local route is, and start it in parallel with any diagnostic waitlist.

4. Get the comprehensive evaluation

   Ask your doctor for referrals to a developmental-behavioral pediatrician, child psychologist, child neurologist, or an autism center — and get on more than one waitlist; you can cancel the extras later. Ask each: current wait time, whether there's a cancellation list, and what documents to send ahead (your notes, screening results, daycare observations). See what an evaluation involves.

5. Build your child's support — and your own

   Whatever the outcome, the same principles help every child with communication differences:

   • Speech-language therapy for communication (including non-speaking communication like signs, pictures, or devices — these support spoken language, not replace it).
   • Play-based, relationship-centered support at home: follow your child's interests, narrate, pause and wait for any response, celebrate every attempt to connect.
   • Occupational therapy when sensory differences or motor skills get in the way of daily life.
   • For you: parent training programs, local and online parent groups, and — importantly — the perspective of autistic adults, who can tell you what actually helped them. You don't have to navigate this alone, and grief and love can coexist while you learn.

If the diagnosis comes

A diagnosis changes nothing about who your child is — it explains, unlocks services, and connects you to a community. Take time to process. Be wary of anyone selling cures or promising to make your child "indistinguishable"; there is no cure for autism, because autism is not an illness — and interventions should be judged by whether they help your child communicate, participate, and be happy, not by whether they suppress harmless autistic behavior. The resources page lists organizations, including autistic-led ones, that offer grounded guidance for the road ahead.